做母亲很难。毫无疑问。但别搞错了,做一个父亲 也不是件容易的事。做一个好父亲需要成为一个开明的纪律严明的人、以身作则、允许他的孩子们犯错、挑战他们、陪伴他们、保护他们,和向他们展示无条件的爱。
围绕着母亲及其从怀孕到抚养孩子的经历进行了大量的研究。毕竟,这是有道理的,母亲们确实要在九个月时间内处理“在体内孕育一个小人儿”这件事。但时不时会有一项研究出来,让我们更好地了解父亲的身份及其 重要性。
下面是 科学告诉我们关于父亲的五件事:
Being a mother is tough. There’s no question about it. But make no mistake, being a father isn’t an easybreezy walk in the park, either. Being a good father entails being an open-minded disciplinarian who leads by example, allows his kids to make mistakes, challenges them, spends time with them, protects them, and shows them unconditional love.
A lot of research has been done surrounding mothers and their experiences from pregnancy to raising their children. It does makes sense, after all, mothers do have to deal with the whole growing-a-tiny-human-inside-of-themselves thing for nine months. But every now and then, a study will come out to give us better insight into fatherhood and its importance.
Here are 5 things to know about being a father, according to science:
01
由于“爱情荷尔蒙”,父亲和孩子建立关系
Dads bond with their children thanks to the "love hormone"
母亲的荷尔蒙激增和随后的依恋关系是一个众所周知的概念。但其实父亲也会释放大量的荷尔蒙。
研究表明,在新生儿出生的头几周,新爸爸体内的催产素(又称“爱情荷尔蒙”)水平有所提高。催产素能让新爸爸和宝宝建立亲密关系,让他们更有可能投入到至关重要的玩耍时间中去。
A mother's hormone surge and subsequent attachment bonding at the birth of a new baby is a well-known concept. But dads release plenty of hormones, too.
Studies have suggested that new fathers have increased levels of oxytocin, aka the "love hormone," during a newborn's first weeks. Oxytocin allows new dads to bond with their babies, making it more likely that they'll engage in that all-important playtime
02
做家务多的父亲会有志向高远的女儿
Dads who do more chores have daughters with high aspirations
2014年发表在《心理科学》上的一项研究发现,父母的家庭行为比言语更有说服力。比如,即使一位父亲鼓吹女权主义,但如果他像“传统”家庭那样,把所有的家务都留给他的妻子,女儿们也会记住这一点,并倾向于想象自己从事传统上由女性主导的工作。
愿意帮忙做家务的父亲,其女儿则渴望从事不那么传统、收入更高的职业。所以,就像约翰·梅尔说的那样:做父亲的,对女儿好点,洗一两个盘子吧。
In a 2014 study published in Psychological Science, it was found that parents' domestic actions spoke louder than words. As in, even though a father preached all things feminism, if he left all the household duties to his wife, as "traditional" families tend to do, daughters will remember that and tend to envision themselves in traditionally female-dominant jobs.
Fathers who were found to help with household chores had daughters who aspired for less traditional and higher paying careers. So do as John Mayer says: Fathers, be good to your daughters, and wash a dish or two.
03
和爸爸的玩耍时间可以帮助孩子们在以后的生活中建立牢固的关系
Playtime with dads can help kids form strong relationships later in life
父亲和孩子之间的纽带会影响孩子日后与其他人建立亲密关系的能力。2002年发表的一项研究发现,“父亲的游戏敏感度可以预测青少年的依恋表现”,游戏敏感度就是父亲知道在玩耍时何时该挑战孩子,何时该退让。基本上,这种嬉闹游戏是父亲和孩子之间的优质时光,它不应该被低估。
The bond between father and child can influence the child's ability to form close relationships with other people later in life. A study published in 2002 found that "adolescents' attachment representations were predicted by fathers' play sensitivity," meaning a father's ability to know when to challenge a child and when to back off during playtime. Essentially, this rough-and-tumble play is quality time between a father and child, and it shouldn't be undervalued.
04
父亲与孩子的互动方式鼓励他们冒险
The way dads interact with children encourages them to take risks
玩耍已经被证明有助于教孩子如何控制自己的身体和情绪,鼓励他们冒险,并在长远来看更有抱负。甚至父亲抱孩子的方式也会产生影响。加利福尼亚州立大学富勒顿分校的教授梅兰妮·马勒斯告诉《赫芬顿邮报》,爸爸们倾向于抱着孩子向外看,而妈妈们则倾向于把孩子面向自己。
马勒斯说,这种微妙的差异实际上是父亲鼓励孩子冒险的一种方式,这对孩子以后的生活有好处,因为他们有能力融入环境、感到自信、解决问题和应对压力。
Play has been shown to help teach children how to control their bodies as well as their emotions, encouraging them to take risks and be more ambitious in the long term. Even the way fathers hold their children makes a difference. Melanie Mallers, a professor at California State University, Fullerton, told The Huffington Post that dads tend to hold their kids out to the world, while mothers tend to hold their children in, facing them.
This subtle difference is actually a way in which fathers encourage their kids to take risks, Mallers said, which can benefit them later on in life in terms of their ability to engage with their environment, feel confident, solve problems and cope with stress.
05
父亲的拒绝比母亲的拒绝更能伤害孩子
A father's rejection could hurt a child even more than a mother's rejection
罗纳德和南希·罗内尔人际接纳和排斥研究中心发现,父亲的爱往往比母亲的爱更有助于孩子的个性发展。具体来说,父亲的拒绝会导致孩子出现行为问题,由此产生的不安全感、焦虑和敌意最终可能导致吸毒、酗酒或上瘾。父亲的拒绝也会阻碍孩子建立信任关系的长期能力。
罗纳德指出,总是有例外的,在他研究的一些案例中,父母双方的影响大致相同,或者母亲的爱是更能代表孩子发展的因素。但他发现,一个压倒性的趋势是,当遇到拒绝时,父亲往往会产生最大的影响力。
Ronald and Nancy Rohner Center for the Study of Interpersonal Acceptance and Rejection made the startling discovery that a father's love often contributes to a child's personality development more than that of a mother. Specifically, a father's rejection can cause a child to develop behavioral problems, and the resulting feelings of insecurity, anxiety and hostility can lead, eventually, to drug or alcohol abuse or addiction. Rejection by a father can also hinder a child's long-term ability to form trusting relationships.
Ronald notes that there are always exceptions, and that in some of the cases he looked at, the influence of both parents was about equal, or a mother's love was the factor more indicative of a child's development. But the overwhelming trend he found was that dads tend to wield the most influence when it comes to rejection.
在过去几十年的社会和文化变迁中,许多父亲改变了他们与子女的关系方式。 随着女性在劳动力市场的持续繁荣,父亲们将越来越多地被鼓励走上 养育孩子的道路,和孩子们建立起牢固的纽带。
今天是父亲节,抽出时间表扬所有伟大的父亲是件不错的事,诚心 感谢他们所做的一切。
Amid the social and cultural shifts of the past few decades, many dads have altered the ways in which they relate to their children. And as women continue to thrive in the workforce, dads will be more and more encouraged to step up to the parenting plate and form strong, nurturing bonds with their kids.
Today is Father’s Day, let’s take the time out to appreciate all the great dads out there and thank them for everything they do.
文章来源:EQwiip;转自积极素养(微信号:CPPA2013),如有侵权,请联系删除。
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